And just like that, junior year of high school is over.  My baby is officially a senior.  Didn’t I just nervously watch her take her first steps?  Just teach her how to ride a bike??  Just send her off on her first bus ride to Kindergarten??  Didn’t all that just happen??  I swear it did.  Those precious moments and so many more will forever be in my mind and heart but have had to move over to make room for new milestones like taking SAT and ACT tests, college visits and application essays.  Junior year of high school is everything you hear it is….busy, stressful and overwhelming.  Now that it’s over, I realize that I’m getting ever so closer to the moment I will say goodbye and send her onto the next step, the first step of adulthood. 

We got a small glimpse of that life when we visited colleges in the spring.  Our travels took us all over New England touring schools, some as serious choices and some just for fun.  It’s safe to say our heads were spinning after taking in the campuses, listening to admission counselors, reviewing admission requirements and just generally absorbing all of it.  Everything has been building to this.  The last several years have been spent taking honors and AP courses, studying to keep those grades up, getting involved, taking leadership roles, volunteering, working a part time job, taking SATs and ACTs and writing application essays.  Basically working hard and doing everything colleges are looking for.  But honestly, I hate to see that she is going to be judged having never even been met by that admissions counselor but by what’s on that application, by those numbers:  GPA, SAT, ACT, and by 500 words on the screen about a life experience that changed her.  High Schoolers put everything into being the “well rounded” student colleges want and I worry it takes away from them just being able to be kids, a teenager enjoying the teenage years like my friends and I did.  So much pressure to be and do all these things, it’s no wonder this generation has skyrocketing anxiety and depressions rates.    This was not what high school looked like in my day.  And once those applications are in, it turns to new worries of… will I get into my top choice, or any school at all. 

Many kids who are college bound have been hearing from a very young age about college, more specifically the right college.  And many parents have made it seem getting into the right college is the purpose of childhood and by achieving that, they have pleased us.  So when they are at the end of junior year/starting senior year, they are stressed because they have been made to feel everything rides on this.  I have tried really hard NOT to be this parent because I know my daughter, and this is extra pressure she does not need.  She puts enough pressure on herself.  I need her to know she is more than her grades and scores and that I love her unconditionally.   Honestly, what I really want for her, what in my eyes will make her successful, is to just be a good human being.  Bottom line about college, if that’s your child’s route…everyone gets in somewhere.  It may be their first choice, it may be their third or fourth choice, but they’ll get in.  So with that in mind, I’m making a conscience effort to have more conversations with her that have nothing to do with college and academics.  Because she’s more than all that and I won’t get this time back.  She went from toddler to teenager in what seems like .247856 seconds, and in a year I’m going to nervously watch her take her first steps onto a yet to be decided college campus.  Whether I’m ready for it or not, it’s coming so I’m just taking lots of deep breaths and trusting it’s going to all work out as it should.

~Regina